Banned Games
by Pickles and Cucumbers
Summary: The vampires and Bella decides to play a game after Esme and Carlisle leaves for the night. But what can they play? Or are all the games banned? R & R
1. Chapter 1

Bella POV

"Buy kids, Carlisle and I are going to the movies. Behave. And remember the banned games. Bye!" Esme said.

"Banned games," I asked after Esme left," what are the banned games?"

"Ahh... well young one," Emmett said," come, have a seat and we will tell you the stories of the banned games."

"I'm not young," I retorted. Emmett just rolled his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

"Well Bella, the first banned game is Truth or Dare," Jasper said.

"Why?"

"Once upon a time, Emmett was arrested and sued, making Esme not trust us with the game, causing it to be banned."

"Umm... okay?" I said, confused.

"Here, let me tell you the story of how my idiot husband got the game banned," Rosalie said," We were really, really bored. So Alice decides that we should play truth or dare. We all decided that it was a great idea and got started. At first, the dares were harmless, like prank call people and hit on random people, but then the dares got crazier and crazier. Then Alice dared Emmett to pound on his chest and yell like Tarzan. Emmett, being an idiot, decided to stretch the dare and jumped on a car. The driver didn't notice and drove onto the freeway with Emmett still on the roof of the car and yelling. The police arrested Emmett. He asked for Emmett's name. Emmett said,' My name is Tarzan and I am here to save your sorry butt from Jane, my sister.' Emmett obviously didn't know that Jane was a good guy and was Tarzan's wife and not sister. Anyways, the police officer got really confused and told Emmett the Jane wasn't Tarzan's sister, but the gorilla that saved Tarzan in the beginning. Emmett got confused and told the officer that Jane was actually the elephant that was captured and forced to perform in a circus, which confused the officer even more. The officer told Emmett that the movie with the elephant is called Bambi. They had a three hour argument about Disney characters. Then Emmett got really mad for some reason and punched the poor man. He fell over and Emmett decided to pull him up so he can punch the officer again. But Carlisle saw while he was on his way home from the hospital. Carlisle stopped the fight and the police arrested both Carlisle and Emmett. Esme and I had to go bail them out. We were charged for sexual harrasment. Then we moved. Esme was so embarrased. The game was banned."

The house fell silent after the story. But then the silence was broken with the loud shouting of... Emmett. No suprise. He was yelling at the neighbors. "No, no, no, Benjamin Franklin is the president today. You got your facts all wrong, man. Broccoli Omega is the 16th president."

"No, you have your facts all wrong," the neighbor shouted back," _Barak Obama_ is the president today."

"No he isn't, he is the dude who signed the Declaration of Independence."

"Besides, the 16th president is Abraham Lincoln."

"Excuse me, what's your job? Where do you work?" Emmett asked in a scary voice.

The man stuttered," La Push High, historian,"

"Well, you should be fired!" Emmett declared," I'll call them right now for you."

"Well, I'll call the police on you," the man shouted.

Here we go...

"Rose, get ready to bail your husband out of jail," Edward laughed.


	3. Chapter 3

What other games are banned? What's next? Hide and Seek?

"You're probably thinking about what other games are banned. Correct, Bella?" Alice grinned. I nodded.

"The next banned game is Hide and Seek," Edward said. Wait. Seriously?

"How do you get banned in Hide and Seek?" I ask.

"Well, the last time we played this was on Christmas Eve. Everybody was happy and excited. Their mood effected Jasper," Emmett said," So Jazzy was really happy and jolly when we played. Edward was counter. He counted to 60 and began searching. He found Rosie on a tree in the woods, Alice who was behind him the whole time, and me, who was and is smart, so he dug a hole and hid in it. I even put the dirt back on top of me. It was brilliant. He didn't find me for a whole five minutes! And I was so-"

"And you popped up out of the dirt right when we were standing in front of you because you couldn't breathe and was panicking 'cause you were buried alive," Rosalie smirked," But yeah continue."

"Anyways, we followed Jasper's scent trail until we were at the werewolves' treaty line. Jasper went over. We were very loyal so we followed Jazzy over the line, thinking that we won't get caught. You know, just catch him and run away. Then deny that we were ever there. We went over and we got caught. Dad took a long time convincing the mutts that we were just fooling around and that we mean no harm. Esme and Carlisle took us home and yelled at us for an hour or two and then noticed that Jasper was gone. Esme panicked, of course. Then we had to go back to the treaty line and convince the dogs to let us over the line and find Jasper. We left our home and found Jasper in New York a week later. Carlisle banned the game so we wouldn't lose each other ever again."

"Jasper should be thankful that we spent time looking for him," Edward muttered.

And the house was silent. The silence was interrupted with Alice's tiny feet bounding everywhere. Running.

"What's wrong, Alice," I asked her.

"Jazzy's gone."

Uh oh


	4. Chapter 4

"The next banned game is Twister," Alice shouted, hyper after finding her Jasper.

"Twister?" I asked.

"Yes Twister," Alice rolled her eyes," Once, we were playing Twister and Rosalie accidentally bumped into Emmett."

"How is that so bad?" I interrupt.

"Shush Bella," Alice glared," As I was saying, Emmett being Emmett and Emmett thinking that it was Jasper trying to make him lose. So Emmett decided to hit "Jazzy" harder and he underestimated his strength and slammed into Rosalie. Instead of turning his head and looking at the person that he crashed into, he grinned, pointed, laughed, and said,' Ha! Serves you right.'"

"Uh oh... And then?"

"Rosalie overreacted and-"

"I didn't overreact, he messed up my hair. Alice! I thought you would understand. He also snapped the heels off those Jimmy Choo stilettos,"Rosalie snapped.

"He broke the heels off?" Alice said in disbelief," Really?"

"It was Jimmy Choo. And I bought the last one."

"Oh my god. Speaking of Jimmy Choo, did you see the new boots that just came out? I have to get one of those. They were like wo-"

I cleared my throat.

"Oh sorry Bella. As I was saying, when Rosalie started yelling at Emmett, he completely froze. You should have seen his face. It was like he smelled a close up mutt with Edwards poo," Alice said.

"My poo? You never smelled my poo before. You weren't even born when I stopped pooing," Edward muttered. Alice just simply pat his cheek.

"Hilarious," Alice mused.

"Continue," I sighed.

"Fine. So Emmett got up and said sorry, but Rose wouldn't take it. She said she would only forgive him if he is able to fix the giant hole she created when Emmett pushed her. Emmett was really desperate and immediently found the supplies and knocked down the wall... Right when Esme came into the house. She screamed. Emmett, who was closest to her, couldn't hear for a week.'

I snickered.

"No seriously Bella. He went deaf. Esme felt sorry, but she couldn't forgive him for breaking the wall. Emmett spent a month repairing that wall, vampire speed and all. Without resting too. After we told Esme what happened, she banned the game, hoping that she wouldn't ever have to experience seeing her wall being knocked down."

"Oh... so Emmett repaired which wall?" I asked.

"This one," she replied, pointing at the wall in front of us.

"No wonder this wall has always seemed a little crooked."

And after the story, the house fell silent. The silence was interrupted when a loud BAM was echoed through the house. And the wall next to us caved into the shape of Emmett. Alice screamed. Half- way through her scream, I couldn't hear her anymore.

I think I'll be deaf for a while. Uh oh.

**Merry Christmas everyone. I don't own Twilight. At all. The story is probably not good. Sorry guys. I'm actually almost out of ideas for other banned games. I would appreciate it if you guys tell me which game should be brought up next and how it got banned. Thanks :)**


	5. Chapter 5

"What's next?," I ask, excited to hear more stories about the banned games of the Cullen household.

The Cullens looked at each other and grinned," Monopoly,"everyone said together.

Edward chuckled after seeing my confused face,"Well Bella, it all started on a boring day in Forks. We were bored and so we all went out to find something to do. At Target, we found Monopoly, which was 75% off that day. We bought it to see what it would be like. So got home, sat in a circle and got the board out. Rosalie put out the money. Emmett counted his money. He had a total of $1500. Honestly, I am quite suprised how he was able to count. And th-"

"Excuse me," Emmett screeched,"How rude. I can count, thank you very much. You need a demontration? 1- 2- 3- 4- 6- 8- 9- 11- 12-13-14-19-17-20-24-23-18-100. See? I can count."

Rosalie sighed,"Here is the chart from 1 to 1-00. Memorize it."

"Oh... so I can't count," Emmett said with a pout on his face.

"Oh wait... let me send a letter first," Jasper cut in,"

Dear God,

Thank you very much for allowing Emmett see the light of reason in his math skills.

I am very happy to say that Emmett has finally figured that he couldn't count. Now I would very

appreciate it if you can show Emmett the light of reason in his spelling as well. I would be

very happy if he is able to learn that he couldn't spell very well. You see, God? Emmett thinks he is

able to do many things, but I believe that he is just a guy with a undeveloped brain. And again, thank you

very much for showing Emmett how stupid he is, even if you are 100 years late. Amen.

Sincerly, Jasper Whitlock Cullen.

There. I'm done. You can continue."

"Thanks Jas-"

"I am NOT stupid. I can spell. Leave me alone. A-L-O-A-N. You hear me? U-H-L-O-O-N."

"Shush," Edward scolded.

"Anyways, Emmett got really, really excited with his "money" and decided to go out shopping. He went to a store and cashed over the Monopoly money over to buy a Google Glass. The cashier didn't notice and gave Emmett the Google Glass and then he came home and immediently tried it on, but he put it on wrong and the Glass broke. Emmett was devestated. Esme and Carlisle banned the game so that Emmett won't fork over fake money for expensive stuff ever again."

The house fell silent after the story. The silence was broken when the Cullens heard Emmett coming home.

"I'm home everyone. You wouldn't believe how much money Esme has stored in her closet. She tried hiding it. You guys should go check it out. It's in the back of the closet and in a box with "Monopoly" written on the front. I bought an Apple watch with only like 1/5 of the money in there. I'm going to try out the watch."

Snap. The watch snapped in half.

Oh dear. PS God... Please also show the light of reasoning to Emmett that fake money is fake. Thank you. Bella.


End file.
